i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
