I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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