Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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