Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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