i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
