you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
