Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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