she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
