? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
