Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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