Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
