k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
