You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
