hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
