There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
