Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
