before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
