I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
