I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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