So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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