glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I stole a fireplace last night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
