Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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