Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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