dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
