saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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