i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
