Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
