But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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