all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
