He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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