What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
