What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
