If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
