is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
