All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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