The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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