Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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