on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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