You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
