so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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