Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
