i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
