just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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