So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
