Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
