I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
