If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
