My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
