I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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