i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish you could order shots online.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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