R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im drinking this country out of the recession.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
