I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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